I met with some friends today. There were only 4 of us. This was only the second time I have "gathered" with them on a Sunday.
In the morning, I found I was feeling reluctant to go. I was tired. I felt some of the same pressure I used to feel on a Sunday morning; that I had to go and be "up", be focused, be "spiritual." I really wanted to just "hole up" for the day, and not face anybody.
Not too surpisingly, I had a wonderful time of fellowship. We did not sing, and the only prayer was grace before our lunch. But we had time to relax, to little by little, allow ourselves to come out of ourselves. To laugh. To cry. To admit to struggles. To praise God for His goodness. To marvel, again, at this new "venue" for assembling together. To share. The good and the bad. To admit we hardly know a thing. To realize just how precious real fellowship is.
We don't know how future "meetings" will go. We don't know who may or may not show up. But the pressure is off. As I said today, "if anyone else wants to come, just tell them not to expect anything." I think that's the secret. It's an amazing thing, to let go of having to meet some standard or other. To simply take God at His word, and trust Him to meet with us there. It all becomes so real. I don't think I have words to explain it. I only know I am so thankful, and looking forward to many more times like today. Hard to believe, but it really is just that simple.