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Monday, November 24, 2008

Homesick

Have you ever been homesick? I’m sure most of us have. It is an awful feeling, especially for a child. Home represents so many things for children; security, comfort, love, acceptance. I can recall times of homesickness as a child. Even though my home life wasn’t ideal, it was still “home” to me, a place where I was safe, and warm, and loved.

I am in the “middle” age bracket now. It can be a time of looking back. Lately, I have been looking back a lot. I have been “homesick” for the early days of my marriage. When my children were little, and were rarely out of my sight. I look back on those days with nostalgia, and also some regrets. “If only I had known Christ then,” I have thought so often. I would do things so much differently now if I could only go back there. I look at the struggles my grown children have, and think that if only I had done a better job, they would make wiser choices as adults. It’s that “protective mother” thing happening, I know.

Perhaps I am romanticizing those days a bit; they did have their stressors. But life was a lot simpler when I was at home raising my kids. I have thought recently that I am homesick for my house. Running to work every day, and then dealing with all the other details of life leaves me exhausted. I want to be home more. To cook, and bake, and sew. To visit others, and invest time in relationships. All those things I used to do, and enjoy, but have no energy or motivation for now. Work seems to take everything I have.

There are plenty of days when I think of heaven. When everything just seems too much. I know I have a home waiting for me there, and I am homesick for it. I think we all have a built-in “homesickness.” We all long for that one place where everything will be “just right,” where we will experience total love and acceptance, and the happiness that seems to be always just out of reach, no matter how many ways we go after it.

Some verses in the Bible talk about our home in heaven. When I read them, I know exactly what the writer talks about. If you know Jesus, I bet you do too.

“For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven…we are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord.” (2 Cor. 5: 1,2,8)

“Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, to those who reside as aliens, scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia and Bithynia...” (1 Peter 1:1)

We have a longing, a homing device set for heaven. It is bittersweet, to be in this earthly tent, with all the struggles that go along with our life here, and to know that we have “an inheritance, which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven” (1Peter1:4) for us. To be faced daily with the world, the flesh and the devil, all the while knowing that when we pass from this life to the next, we will be faced with Jesus, in all His beauty and glory. Bittersweet, yet the sweet overcomes the bitter, just as grace overcomes our sin.

Keep looking up.

8 comments:

Lennart said...

Maureen, This is the 3rd time I am typing this!!!

I have been meditating on Gods love for His bride these passed 2 or 3 days. The words "I have been looking back a lot. I have been “homesick” for the early days of my marriage. When my children were little, and were rarely out of my sight. I look back on those days with nostalgia,..." really stood out in bold when I read them.

I remember the day when I fell in love with Jesus. I was excited, love-sick, energised, love-sick.... You get the picture?

Papa said to me "this is how I want my bride to be all the time.... LOVE-SICK"

Oh my goodness, if Jesus' bride (us) would just have a tiny revelation of just how much he loves us and how He longs to lavish us with His blessings.

I'm sorry, I am out of words ... but I am sure you know what I am trying to say.

HE LOVES YOU ... and me :)

Maureen said...

Oh yes, that is a revelation to pray for. It would change our lives immensely.

Thank you Lennart.

Amy said...

Maureen,
Ah...beautiful post. I do understand your thoughts on being homesick for our Home which will be Heaven, our New World once we leave this Earth. I believe all Christ-followers feel this way, because in our spirit, we know that this life, indeed, is most certainly a great Journey, but our final destination will be with Papa Son Holy Spirit.

Maureen, although I cannot relate to you exactly on that which you are experiencing with looking back upon how you raised your kids, or early marriage, I can however relate to you on looking back at parts of life in the past and wondering the "what if's?"

From what I have garnered from both our personal emails back and forth, and from the absolutely beautiful posts here, I DO believe solidly that you have been a good mother. That you have truly loved and cared for you...in doing the best you could during all circumstances, places in life, even in mistakes made. We all make them.

Again, no moment was a waste. Sure there have most certainly been poor actions and behaviors I, and others, have made in life, but they were all a part of the Journey. I believe, when we seek with our whole hearts, renewing of things broken with Papa, He will bless us and be a wonderful "janitor" at sorting things through and cleaning messes up. Most certainly not all messes for reasons often only He understands, but nonetheless many, many messes He turns into Good, indeed.

Blessings,
~Amy :)
Author of "Orphaned Into Belonging"
http://www.lulu.com/content/4781677
Walking In The Spirit
http://amyiswalkinginthespirit.blogspot.com

Maureen said...

Amy, thank you for your kind words here. It is true.......God works all things together for our good. Even the messes we make.

I know I can have hope for my children, because nothing is impossible for God.

Thank you for your encouragement, little sister. (You are so much younger than me! Hope you don't mind :o)

Ike said...

"Yesterday" I was 8 years old and playing midget football....."Today" we just had our 40th class reunion, (class of 68)......"Tomorrow" I will be gone! Life is a vapor!!

My wife and I have been talking about "going home" lately. We talk about some "self-centered" things like "no more cancer" and "no more pain". We think what it will be like meeting our precious little baby that died. We also think what it will be like leaving our son and his wife behind. My wife has told me that if her cancer returns, that will be the most difficult thing for her to do......say goodbye to her kids (I guess she thinks I'm going with her?).
We have also wondered what it is going to be like when we first lay eyes on our Lord? We talk about seeing His glory like we never seen it before! How "we" will go to bed and wake up the next morning, (we really don't do this), and "we" get another glimpse of His glory that raptures the day before! And this will continue for all eternity!!!!
I personally think what it will be like at the judgement seat of Christ? I think of the wood...hay...and stubble? Will I be one who will be saved as by fire? I know this is not a judgement for my sins, but it is a judgement for what I did for Christ. My works will not save me, but did I do my best? How much of my "christian" life have I lived in the flesh? I have failed much in my life and I pray that I will finish well.

Maureen said...

Hello Ike. Yes, no doubt your wife's illness has caused you both to think more often in terms of eternity. The here and now takes so much of our attention. How comforting to think on eternity with Christ, especially when faced with this illness.

I know what you mean by "finishing well". I often think about this. God's grace is so needed to finish the race well.

God bless you both.

Leonard said...

HUGS.

Maureen said...

Thanks Leonard; back at ya!

Mac