New Home, New Life

Lots of changes since my last post. It's been a while, and I'm feeling rusty, but here goes.

On December 23 of last year I found out that I could have an early retirement package from work. In the first week of January, we bought a house in another town, 45 minutes away. Then about two weeks after that, we sold our house. On February 24th we moved to our new house. On March 31st I officially retired from my job of nearly 20 years. Whew! Just writing it all out leaves me feeling overwhelmed!

Too many changes? Yes, perhaps. But I am convinced that it was all in God's plan and timing. For quite a while, my hubbie and I have been dreaming of that place in the country. And I have been dreaming of being able to retire. Neither of these things seemed to be in the realm of the possible for a few years yet, but then God doesn't look at the possible, or statistics, or any other perameter that we tend to dwell on and make life decisions on. He just goes ahead and does things His way, whenever He wants to. Even as all these events were unfolding, I knew that all I had to do was trust Him and hold on for the ride. And now that most of the dust has settled, I am still trusting him for whatever comes next.

Yes it has been too many changes all at once, at least according to the "experts". And I did expect some low times to come after all the exitement had passed. And come they did. Leaving work was heart wrenching. I didn't expect it to be so difficult. I had to grieve for what I was leaving behind, even in the face of new found freedom and exiting new possibilities. You know the old saying, you don't know what you had until you've lost it. But still, I know this sad time will pass, and I will stop looking behind and start looking ahead. God knows what the future holds, for each one of us. Nothing is certain, no matter what plans we make. He holds every second, and His will for our lives is always perfect. So we keep looking to Him.

But as for me, I trust in You, O LORD,
I say "You are my God."
My times are in Your hand;
(Psalm 31:14-15a)

God With Us

Of all the images that surface this time of year, my favourite is the nativity. I love nativity scenes, and the Christmas Story. I love thinking about that time, when Mary gave birth to Jesus; she knew He was special and not just any baby. The angel had come to her and explained what His role would be:“And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name Him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David.” (Luke 1:31-32)
Mary’s husband Joseph also had an angelic visitation, in a dream. The angel spoke to reassure him that he should proceed with his marriage to Mary:“She will bear a Son and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.” (Matthew 2: 21)
The prophet Isaiah spoke also of Jesus, foretelling His birth: “Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, a virgin will be with child and bear a son, and she will call His name Immanuel (God with us)” Isaiah 7:14
Imagine, God coming to us in the form of a tiny baby! But the story does not end at that stable in Bethlehem. We love to gaze on that scene, on baby Jesus, so sweet and helpless. But that babe grew up; a man, yet fully God. He walked with humankind, and experienced life as they did. He was Almighty God, yet left the glory of that position to show us what God is like. Not only that, but He gave His own life in payment for the sins of the world.

We love the warm fuzzies we get when we decorate, hang pretty lights, and listen to Christmas Carols. But there is so much more to the Christmas Story than the babe and the shepherds and the wise men. That baby became a man, died for us, and is now alive in Heaven. He was born, not to give us a reason for a Christmas season, but to make a way for us to be reconciled to God. So when you see him there in the manger, fast forward to our ultimate cause for celebration, God’s great love gift to us: He came to die, so that we might have life.

A Moveable Mess, or, In the Meantime......

Nine years ago my hubbie and I downsized to a tidy little two bedroom bungalow. The kids had grown and gone, so we thought it was time to find something smaller with less upkeep. It was a good idea, but we now find ourselves a bit cramped.

Our former house had a finished attic which hubbie used as his art studio. There were three bedrooms and a bathroom on the second floor, then kitchen, living room, den, family room and bathroom on the main floor. The basement was unfinished, but great for hiding "stuff" and doing laundry. There was also a single car garage which we usually kept full of more "stuff".

Now we have kitchen, living room, dining room, two small bedrooms, bathroom and a family room addition which hubbie has marked as "his territory". (I get to sit in there sometimes; it is the best room in the house, lots of natural light). The basement is unfinished, and there is also a garage. One of the bedrooms has a bunk bed (double bed on the bottom, single on the top) which is great for when grandkids sleep over. The room is about ten by ten, which doesn't leave much space left over. It is the room that I keep trying to make "mine" where I can sew, write, read, make jewellry, and fill with all my own personal "stuff", like books and yarn and fabric etc. etc. Although the picture above isn't of my room, it does bear a striking resemblance.

I keep trying to find that space where I can roost, with all my stuff around me, and create, or just be. It hasn't happened. My home is dotted with piles of books, papers, fabric, yarn, cd's and tapes. Whenever I have company, the dining room table gets cleared off and my piles get relocated into the spare room. I call it my "moveable mess".

Today, I am having another go at the spare room. Hubbie is going to move the filing cabinet there from the basement, and once again, I will try to get myself organized. I might even set my sewing machine up on the little desk in there. I'll have to deal with a couple of bins full of papers etc. first. There is also a computer in there, and I hope to purchase a new printer to go along with it.

Hubbie has promised to make me a room in the basement. But I don't know when this might actually occur, so in the meantime, I'm doing the best I can with what I have. My new little room will be (God willing) bright and warm and cozy, and will have shelves and a work table and I will be able to leave things set up there. We have also tossed around the idea of finishing our little attic, and have spent many hours on the Internet MLS site, looking for our perfect house in the country. But all must be in God's timing.

It's like that for us believers, I think. As "aliens" here on earth, we have to "make do" with the fallen world we live in, and the fallen selves that we are. Our made alive spirits yearn for that perfect place, and that perfect, sin free self that is promised at our final glorification. In the meantime, we endure temptation, frustration, and a heavenly homesickness that cannot be described, only experienced. We so look forward to the day when we will finally be "home", forever with our Lord, and living that perfect, eternal life that we were created for.

For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now. And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body. (Romans 8:22,23)

Keep It Simple

" O LORD, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty; Nor do I involve myself in great matters, Or in things too difficult for me. Surely I have composed and quieted my soul; Like a weaned child rests against his mother, My soul is like a weaned child within me. " Psalm 131:1-2

Do you sometimes find yourself overwhelmed? Not just with busyness, but by the world today. Television, for instance. It brings SO much information into your living room. About everything. More than you need to know. But then, how do you decided what you need or don't need to pay attention to? From the latest discoveries in the world of medicine, to the current natural disasters, to the realities of war in far off places. So much to consider.

A hundred years ago, people dealt with only a fraction of the details and decisions that we are faced with today. Even grocery shopping is a mundane chore made into a complicated mission to pick the right products from toothpaste (whitening, for sensetive teeth, cavity fighting, breath freshening) to yogurt (pro biotic, low fat, anti oxidant, sugar free), and trying to get the best price on top of it all. Nothing wearies me like shopping! Oh how I long for the simple life!

I used to struggle quite a bit with the "things of the Lord". That is, concerning doctrine. Which denomination was right? Which interpretation of scripture was the most precise? Should I be pre-trib, mid-trib, or post-trib? Dispensationalist, Covenant or New Covenant? Calvinist or Arminian? These things weighed me down, and I was desperate to be in the right "camp". And if I thought I was, I was desperate to convince anyone who disagreed. But not any more. I know what I believe about the "essentials" of the faith, and I trust God to bring other truth to me as He sees fit. Instead of focusing on "being right", I am more likely to simply focus on Jesus, and be content to learn whatever the Holy Spirit brings to my attention. It's a beautiful thing, this kind of rest.

I think the verse above says it all. What a priviledge we have to be in Christ, to have any enlightenment at all! Not that we shouldn't be always learning, but if we make knowing doctrine more important than a living, personal relationship with it's Author, we will be the poorer for it, no matter how "right" we think we are.

Thank you Father for teaching your children. Thank you that there are no exams to pass, or need to prove anything to anyone. Thank you that we can be confident that you will give us all the revelation that we need, when we need it. Help us to be patient with others, and with ourselves, as we grow in grace and knowledge of you.

Nest of Grace

We can become so good at the game of hiding ourselves. From behind a wall of what we think we ought to be, we sit and observe. We weigh and measure each response, every lifted eyebrow, and adjust accordingly. Behind the scenes, we continually re-write our script, always searching for that one right way to be. Yet we are unable to calm our anxious hearts, for we know full well that we will never be truly “right”. We are made this way, and have grown this way, however bent and gnarled we may be.

But we are no surprise to You. You knew us from our mother's womb. Foreknown by you, we were saved. Even our struggles, our hearts' straining to know truth, You foreknew. “All things” can only mean all things. So even in our weakness, our groans, our stumbling, You work out Your purpose for Your glory. Even in our constant turnings, worries over what we've said and done, You stand guard over us.

We huddle within You, like newly hatched sparrows in their nest. We feebly lift our upturned faces to You, eyes still dim, our mouth opens, straining to be filled with understanding, with knowledge of You. For this is our food and drink, this knowing of You. We know that this Truth is the answer to all of our searching. We can take it and hold it up against every thought, every situation. It lines everything up in order. It casts away the dross, and makes more brightly shine the gold. It polishes and chips away, even at us.

Lord we are safe in You, in this nest of grace. Within it we can take new steps, even the wrong ones. Our searching after You is done with our whole heart, and You will guide our eventual end. You oversee every thought and action, and even in our wrongness, You gently lead us to Truth. Up ahead is so dark, like a gloomy forest at dusk. But Your light shines before us, one step at a time. God, if only You can see our hearts, if only You can know us through and through, it is enough, it is become even our great hope. For even though knowing us, You still love us with an everlasting love. This is our resting place.

"How priceless is Your lovingkindness, O God! And the children of men take refuge in the shadow of Your wings!" (Psalm 36:7)

Good To Me

I called You "Daddy" yesterday

As so quickly I did pray

In thanks for all You do for me.

My heart was full! There had to be

Some kind of letting out

Of all that joy accumulated
Grace on grace,I calculated
From before I was yet born.
Blessings rich upon me poured
Beyond what I can count.


It just leapt out so naturally;
"Thank you Daddy!". Could it be
My heart is melting ever slowly
As You look on me, so lowly;
Yet precious in your sight!


Why are You so good to me?
I don't deserve it, can't you see?
I've gone for years with head bowed low;
For surely all the world must know
How far I am from right.

But You have lifted up my head!
And now I need no longer dread
The present, past or what's to come
I'm in You now, forever home
Content to simply be.

Thank you Father, from my heart
My life is Yours, in every part
Your goodness flows beyond all measure
Lord you are my dearest treasure;
You are so good to me!

Seasons

I love the Fall. To me, it is the "middle age" of seasons. It comes after the newness of spring, when shoots of plants struggle upwards like a child standing up to take those first tentative steps. The sunshine and warm temperatures call those things that were dormant, or hibernating, or had migrated south, to reappear, ready to begin another cycle of life.

Summer arrives, and plants come into their fullness of bloom and fruition. From spring until September, we reap their harvest and drink in the beauty of vast varieties and shades of flowers. This is the "adult" of the seasons, when maturity comes to those furry and feathered babies born in the spring, and they are weaned from their mother's milk, or nudged out of their nests, to strike out on their own.

Then comes Autumn. The changing leaves seem to be shouting a last "hurrah" before letting go and dancing prettily to the ground. Scooped and bagged, now more of a nuisance than anything, they wait by the curb, or blown by the wind they gather in ditches, slowly making their way back to the soil that first brought them forth. Farmer's fields become barren landscapes of dried up corn stalks and shriveled plants, all their bounty now gone, depleted of the new life that once made heavy their vines and branches.

I feel I am in that "mid life" season. I look behind and see the Spring and Summer of my life, now gone past. I gaze with longing on the energy and promise they held, knowing I can't bring them back. Still, this is a good season. For it can bring contentment; a sense of not needing to peddle so fast as in younger days. The frantic pace of child rearing is behind, leaving grandchildren as its rich harvest.

I'm not ready for the rocking chair yet, however, and God willing, I've got a few last "hurrahs" left to shout. The best part is that I've got Him to show me how, where and when. And even as the Autumn of life fades into winter, where this life ends, the next is waiting, full of more promise and joy than this one could ever offer

Which season are you in? Are you content where you are? Have you considered what life’s next season might hold for you? Have you considered Him who made those seasons, and offers one of everlasting life?

“and yet He did not leave Himself without witness, in that He did good and gave you rains from heaven and fruitful seasons, satisfying your hearts with food and gladness.” (Acts 14:17)

Maureen Breakspear
Published in Millbrook Times 19/11/10